We Exist, In the U.A.E.

Turbine got back to me, and pretty much said the same thing that was on their FAQ. So I took matters into my own hands. I decided, FUCK Turbine, I'll log in anyway and see if I can't submit a fake address. And by Jove, d'you know something?

It fucking WORKED!

Now they're taking money from me and I should be a VIP member. Time to log in and check this for myself.

We Provide Internet Shitstorms

My service provider really has a unique approach to their customer satisfaction. Like right now, when the service they're providing seems to have taken a walk in the park without prior notice, which happens frequently. It's really very generous of them to provide all this downtime for us paying customers, I feel just like I'm back on dial-up, and I didn't even need to ask for it! I'm getting all the non-service I want!

Listed below are some of the benefits you can expect to get with this service provider, while paying exorbitant amounts of cash (keep in mind certain payment plans come with extra hassle free of charge!):

• Frustration
  
• Agitation
• Dissatisfaction
• No service
• No porn
• Boredom

Wow. What a subscriber's package! All of that and MORE! If you sign up now you also get your very own complimentary useless help desk rep that comes preinstalled with a bored monotone! What more could you ask for, really?

We Don't Exist

Yep, the internet has done it again, folks. I officially do not exist, nor does my country.

The first company to do this was payment giant PayPal. The latest culprit? Turbine.

Oh Turbine, Turbine, Turbine... I was willing to shell out $14.95 for your stupid FREE game, for the VIP service, until I ran into a teensy little snag on your payment method page. Every other fucking middle eastern country was listed, except for MINE.

Fuck you, Turbine. Hard. Up the ass. With a razor blade. Sideways.

I will waste my money elsewhere on a site that knows I exist.

GEBB.

(Get Eaten By Bears).

You Have Been Assimilated

So, I buckled.

Facebooked.

I can never again show my face publicly. Why do I do these things?

Pr0nz rip-off

Okay. I do realize that porn isn't exactly a product that would bespeak quality and mind-numbingly good scene setting; however, when spending almost $2.00 on a work of pornographic and illustrated fiction, I expected a bit more fiction than the tedious dialogue interspersed with flavour description, and a bit more illustration than 1 black and white illustration that has already been featured on the blog of the shopfront.

Where is the exclusive goodie bag I was supposed to get with my purchase? Because between you and I, the writing was incredibly shallow and not even exciting. I figured at least the artwork could make up for it. Yep. All ONE illustration of it. Which I already saw, so what was the point anyway?

Now I know never to buy anything that doesn't at least have a bit of sample writing attached to it. And a friendly warning to anyone else who might be perusing the Yaoi Prose website. Steer clear of Yamila Abraham's work, I only got the one chapter of Royal Pain (in-the-fucking-wallet) and I'm put off for life. Definitely would have spent those two dollars better on a stick of gum, or a pack of tic tacs, at least they wouldn't have left such a horrid taste in my mouth.

Mum-On. Apply directly to the vicinity.

Don't you just love it when a parental unit is constantly hovering around your work area, doing things you know they're just doing so they can linger for inexplicable reasons? Like rearranging the jewellery in my 'I'm using these right now' jewellery dish, even though there are probably only 4 pieces in there at the moment, or fluffing the curtains (wtf?) while trying to engage me in conversations about the 'big storm' we had last night. Some rain and high velocity winds aren't really a storm, a tornado is a storm, a typhoon is a storm, nature creating the perfect conditions for airborne dust is not a storm, it's a hayfever sufferer's worst nightmare.

I love you mum, but...

GTFO!

Let The Festivities BEGIN!

So, I think I'm finally over my trip to the dentist.... BREAK OUT THE CANDY!

I've been contemplating reinstalling Morrowind and Oblivion, but then I remember how many games I haven't finished and I'm right back where I started with my ponderings and procrastinations. I will save the golden classics for some other time.

It really is tough being an MMO fan and a single player fan. I should specialize, but then I'd be missing out on all the single player cool stuff.

Life is so hard!

I Feel my Heart Through my Teeth

So I went to my interview today, and all I'm going to say is that it looks promising. I'm not sure whether I'm enthused about working in another 'start-up' sort of environment, knowing the pressures and stress that come with that, but it would be nice to be making money again, for legally-acquired porn if nothing else.

After my interview, I had a spot of lunch (the dolma were delicious), and then got ready for my torture session at the dentist. For someone who hasn't been to the dentist in eight years, my teeth fared rather well. She said I had no cavities, and she stuck my loose cap back on with some fresh cement. After which, she proceeded to gouge out every bit of loose tissue between my teeth. I think I bled half a quart out of my gums today. Ah the price of good oral hygiene. So now my gums are throbbing, but I feel spectacularly clean and scale-free.

She's going to fix the little chip in my tooth next Sunday, and she'll also prepare a home whitening kit for me. Yay, more pain, and this time from the comfort of my own home! Can't wait.

Symbolic Symbolism

I discovered something neat just now, which kind of cancels out some of the yuck that's been happening today.

☺☻♥♦♣♠

I know how to make these now!

Can't catch a break, so the car ran over me.

My cap's loose, and my car's scratched. Today is a shitty day.

The only ray of light will be going to the movies with my sister. Let's hope I don't publicly embarrass myself eh?

Bother...

The fan wins the match. It's still doing its fancy dance, so I think it needs to be replaced or looked at by a professional, or someone who knows their way around the inside of a computer. In the mean time I'm back on my laptop until I can rope my cousin into passing by for a quick diagnostic.

I like my laptop, don't get me wrong, it's an awesome machine, but my desktop is a little bit more powerful. Ah well, at least I still have a way to vent my frustrations. Let's hope the lappy doesn't go the way of the desky.

SHENANIGANS!

My computer fan has had a relapse.

I'm not sure what to do at this point. Open the case again and give it another vigorous bout of blowing? I'll try that later today. The fucking thing can bitch and moan as much as it wants right now.

Breaking news:

I gave the PC a second bout, and did get a few more Dust Bunnies out of the experience, also I gave the power supply a vigorous exercise, much of the same treatment. Now the computer's just humming at me ominously, waiting for a moment to send me 'round the bend again. Other than what I've already done, I'm out of ideas. Perhaps my power supply is just sending me signals that I need a new one.

I'll leave the machine on for the day and see what happens. I honestly hope that it was just the dust and lint.

Case File: Frostbitten Bytes

The evidence shall be delivered thusly:

I cleaned out the case earlier. It took roughly both cans of compressed air, and a good fifteen to twenty minutes' dedication, for me to clear out most of the debris, flotsam, and jetsam. It was actually all very fine particle dust that was just getting in the way of the fans it seems.

Then I made a mistake.

I tilted the can too far and the liquid stuff shot out of it and hit the GPU fan. I thought, "Well shit, I just fucked that up royally". But, after a call to my panic center (read: my cousin's cell phone) and having a technical-themed chat with him, I was confident enough to tempt fate. I went ahead and hooked the PC back up to its life-support systems and fired it up. The worst case scenario would have been a fried interior, but luckily it seemed that the liquidy stuff (which pretty much solidifies a few seconds upon contact), had probably not been enough to cause damage (knocks on wood).

Comp's sounding a lot healthier now, and hopefully the fans will behave for a while; dust is a nasty business, and being allergic to small airborne particles doesn't make having to subject myself to it an easy task.

On the whole I'd say this is an open and shut case. Verdict?

The jury finds the defendant, not guilty.

Edits Going Slow

So, I'm not sure exactly which story to update on my writing account. Cranedance suggested that I do a one-shot--which is quite funny considering the nature of the work involved--and I am considering it. On the other hand I am also considering adding to my already vast collection of unwritten fictions, and starting a naga-esque venture.

I'm still pondering and procrastinating. I am a very accomplished one of the latter.

Dust Bunny Death

Scheduled date: Tuesday 6th of April

Scheduled time: Between 9:00 PM and 10:00 PM

Location: First floor landing

Modus Operandi: 2 cans of compressed air

Victim: 1 Thermaltake case AKA Thermaltake X

Motive: STOP THAT RACKET!

The verdict will be decided on the day. Court is adjourned.